On most days, I'm a very cheerful person. Disgustingly so. I have a constant smile on my face and will show great enthusiasm when in a conversation. It's a part of my personality that I can't seem to control. Even when I'm feeling down, or am pissed off, I still have that half assed smile on my face. Which is why the above avatar for 'Derp' is such an extremely accurate depiction of my person. Do I have an explosion of butterflies following me around? Yes, yes I do.
But there are a few days a year where the crankiness wins out over the perpetual sunshine and smiley faces. Today is one of those days. So was yesterday, for that matter. Yesterday was so bad that even the animals were ducking for cover, and Chris took all of the wire hangers with him when he went to work.
In Pain - Check
Uncomfortable - Check
Attitude problem - Check
Irritability - Double Check
This is all of Chris's fault, too, so dont be sitting there feeling all bad for the guy. In the interest of not scaring off the male readers, I'll spare you the details. Just trust me when I say it's all his fault. The only saving grace is that I didnt use all of the meds I was given after my c-section. As long as nothing goes out of it's way to piss me off, I'm managing not to have to hide bodies.
Chuck & Beans
Since we've established that my mood is asstastic to epic porportions, this would of course, have to be the day that 'family' drops by unnannounced. Grand! I was sitting here in my pajamas, minding my own fucking business. But no, family comes over so I had to go and put on a bra and pants so I can entertain them. Yippee. Just how I envisioned this day going, too.
Fuck I hate people.
After getting myself dressed, I joined the impromptu party that was forming on my front porch. Let me clarify one point, here. The one person who actually came to visit is welcome at any time. I like him. It's everyone else that follows him around that I have issues with. They, of course, wanted to see the gremlin but she was sleeping, blissfully unaware of the hillbilly parade going on just outside the front door.
Chris decided it was best not to leave me unattended with the family so he joined us all outside. Everything was going fairly well (and by fairly well I mean I was doing a bingo fucking job of tuning everyone out) when a question is volleyed in my direction. I had heard enough of the conversation to know this was going nowhere fast. Here's what happened: Apparently one of the other family members went to Hooters and took their 9yo son with him. The wife, soon to be ex-wife or baby mama, - I'm not sure what she is at this point as I know they were getting a divorce and she is now 9mos pregnant - was railing at her husband for going to Hooters in the first place. She kicked up a small fuss about her 9yo son going, but the anger was directed at her husband for going in the first place.
What ticked me off about this whole thing was she was starting a fight on my front porch. I... what? The fuck? She doesnt know me at all, this is probably the second time in my life I've had the misfortune to clap eyes on her, but here she is up on my property picking a fight with her husband. She's busy giving him a ration of shit for going to Hooters, acting for all the world like some hussy waitress up there was about to steal her man away. >.< This was so ludicrous, it pained me. I feel like I'm losing brain cells just trying to repeat the argument, here.
I hate to say it. Actually no I dont. I dont mind saying it at all because I'm in just that kind of mood. But listen, even if, and this is a big 'if' here, there was some man stealing tramp looking to land herself a sugar daddy, her husband couldnt afford it. I'm pretty sure the ladies at Hooters have a better salary than her husband does. I'm not slamming her husband, I'm just sayin'. I suck at logic, and even I figured that part out.
So the husband turns to me, the last female on the porch, and is telling me that I would have a problem with Chris going to Hooters, too. His eyes and tone were accusatory as he'd already decided that I was 'one of them'.
Family Member: "You'd have a problem with Chris going to Hooter's, wouldnt you?"
Me: "Well, no, I wouldn't."
Then I asked Chris if he'd like to go to Hooters with the gremlin tomorrow. He said, "Nah, the food isnt that good." See? That's why I love this man. He knows how to get to the bottom line.
Those ladies might be dressed a little risque but who cares? They flirt and make good money doing it. Chris can go and look all he wants. He knows what's at home waiting for him and he wouldn't throw it away over something as tragic as a waitress at Hooter's. Jesus H. I cannot believe the stupidity of the argument and that it actually took place on my front porch. I am massively offended by this. Chris is goddamn lucky that I'm not a relentless harpy over the small shit, ever.
As I type this, he's ordering Ketamine from some supply company. I'm sure he'll tranq me with the hope that when I wake up I'll be in a better mood.
Fat chance.
In Other News:
Nessie has a boyfriend. He's much smaller than she is and doesnt have the eyelashes. Currently, Nessie has taken up residence in an empty case of Corona box. Ironically, the box was a package from my grandmother who was using it to mail baby stuff down to us.
I'm going to stop typing now as the meds are kicking in. I dont know if that's good or bad, but at least Chris should have a quiet night at home, now.
But there are a few days a year where the crankiness wins out over the perpetual sunshine and smiley faces. Today is one of those days. So was yesterday, for that matter. Yesterday was so bad that even the animals were ducking for cover, and Chris took all of the wire hangers with him when he went to work.
In Pain - Check
Uncomfortable - Check
Attitude problem - Check
Irritability - Double Check
This is all of Chris's fault, too, so dont be sitting there feeling all bad for the guy. In the interest of not scaring off the male readers, I'll spare you the details. Just trust me when I say it's all his fault. The only saving grace is that I didnt use all of the meds I was given after my c-section. As long as nothing goes out of it's way to piss me off, I'm managing not to have to hide bodies.
Chuck & Beans
Since we've established that my mood is asstastic to epic porportions, this would of course, have to be the day that 'family' drops by unnannounced. Grand! I was sitting here in my pajamas, minding my own fucking business. But no, family comes over so I had to go and put on a bra and pants so I can entertain them. Yippee. Just how I envisioned this day going, too.
Fuck I hate people.
After getting myself dressed, I joined the impromptu party that was forming on my front porch. Let me clarify one point, here. The one person who actually came to visit is welcome at any time. I like him. It's everyone else that follows him around that I have issues with. They, of course, wanted to see the gremlin but she was sleeping, blissfully unaware of the hillbilly parade going on just outside the front door.
Chris decided it was best not to leave me unattended with the family so he joined us all outside. Everything was going fairly well (and by fairly well I mean I was doing a bingo fucking job of tuning everyone out) when a question is volleyed in my direction. I had heard enough of the conversation to know this was going nowhere fast. Here's what happened: Apparently one of the other family members went to Hooters and took their 9yo son with him. The wife, soon to be ex-wife or baby mama, - I'm not sure what she is at this point as I know they were getting a divorce and she is now 9mos pregnant - was railing at her husband for going to Hooters in the first place. She kicked up a small fuss about her 9yo son going, but the anger was directed at her husband for going in the first place.
What ticked me off about this whole thing was she was starting a fight on my front porch. I... what? The fuck? She doesnt know me at all, this is probably the second time in my life I've had the misfortune to clap eyes on her, but here she is up on my property picking a fight with her husband. She's busy giving him a ration of shit for going to Hooters, acting for all the world like some hussy waitress up there was about to steal her man away. >.< This was so ludicrous, it pained me. I feel like I'm losing brain cells just trying to repeat the argument, here.
I hate to say it. Actually no I dont. I dont mind saying it at all because I'm in just that kind of mood. But listen, even if, and this is a big 'if' here, there was some man stealing tramp looking to land herself a sugar daddy, her husband couldnt afford it. I'm pretty sure the ladies at Hooters have a better salary than her husband does. I'm not slamming her husband, I'm just sayin'. I suck at logic, and even I figured that part out.
So the husband turns to me, the last female on the porch, and is telling me that I would have a problem with Chris going to Hooters, too. His eyes and tone were accusatory as he'd already decided that I was 'one of them'.
Family Member: "You'd have a problem with Chris going to Hooter's, wouldnt you?"
Me: "Well, no, I wouldn't."
Then I asked Chris if he'd like to go to Hooters with the gremlin tomorrow. He said, "Nah, the food isnt that good." See? That's why I love this man. He knows how to get to the bottom line.
Those ladies might be dressed a little risque but who cares? They flirt and make good money doing it. Chris can go and look all he wants. He knows what's at home waiting for him and he wouldn't throw it away over something as tragic as a waitress at Hooter's. Jesus H. I cannot believe the stupidity of the argument and that it actually took place on my front porch. I am massively offended by this. Chris is goddamn lucky that I'm not a relentless harpy over the small shit, ever.
As I type this, he's ordering Ketamine from some supply company. I'm sure he'll tranq me with the hope that when I wake up I'll be in a better mood.
Fat chance.
In Other News:
Nessie has a boyfriend. He's much smaller than she is and doesnt have the eyelashes. Currently, Nessie has taken up residence in an empty case of Corona box. Ironically, the box was a package from my grandmother who was using it to mail baby stuff down to us.
I'm going to stop typing now as the meds are kicking in. I dont know if that's good or bad, but at least Chris should have a quiet night at home, now.
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