For the whole of my adolescent and adult life, I've been consorting with nerds. Lest you think I am bragging, let me assure you this was mere happenstance and since I've become comfortable moving in nerd circles, I continue to repeat the pattern.
There are different levels of nerd but all of them view Star Wars as some kind of holy grail to geekdom. This always puzzled me, because I thought the Star Wars movies (all of them) were really not that interesting. That opinion, when I chanced to voice it, was always met with stern glares, "you dont know what you're talking about you silly little girl," comments and quite often a serious lecture on how wonderful and amazing Star Wars really is.
I found this reaction quite amusing. It was like having a secret 'Dance Monkey, Dance!' button that I could press at will. If you ever want to bring any kind of nerd convention to a screeching halt, all you have to do is go to the hub and start bellowing about what a terrible movie Star Wars is. I recommend wearing a helmet and protective gear if you decide to attempt this.
Chris himself is an avid fan of Star Wars, and with our polar views on the subject, we frequently get into arguments. Let me repeat that, in case you missed the point. Two grown adults, that have far larger concerns and a small child to raise, will argue about the Star Wars series. None of his reasons can ever explain the 6ft cardboard statue of Bobafet himself gracing the side of our bed. I wish, oh God, I wish I were kidding about that. And we wont even mention the Star Wars pillowcase. No, no we wont.
A long time ago, so long that I dont care to think about it because it involves math with numbers in the double digits, Chris, his family, and I would gather in the living room to watch wrestling. Now, I realize I'm losing credibility here but hear me out. Wrestling is entertaining to watch, so long as one doesnt take it seriously.
One of the funniest moments of my life came about while watching wrestling. One night, while watching a pay per view event, there was a huge throw down between all the ladies of the wrestling world. In the ensuing cat fight the lady's tops came off. Chris's brother, who wasnt quite 18, was absolutely mortified to be viewing boobies in front of his mother. If that wasn't embarassing enough, Mae Young, who was 77 at the time, surfaced from the fray long enough to reveal her breasts. His brother's face turned an interesting shade of purple and he ran out of the living room, leaving the rest of us howling with laughter. The moment was glorious, and you can't put a price tag on that.
I've always said wrestling is like a male soap opera, complete with trash talking, violence, hot women, and too-old guys running around in tights trying to be taken seriously. Male entertainment at it's finest, really. Star Wars also belongs in that same category. As far as I'm concerned the only redeeming characters in the whole miserable series were the Ewoks. When I was 4 years old, I thought they were the cutest things ever and I wanted to take one home and put it on the shelf right next to my puckmarin, Falcor, and Captain Picard. Now that I'm an adult, I still think Ewoks are the best things ever but only because I recognize the malevolence in their beady little eyes from a lifetime of mockery and short jokes. Let's just say I can relate and leave it at that.
Other than the Ewoks, the only entertainment I can find when having to sit through yet. one. more. showing of the stupid series is picturing Darth Vadar as Rick Flair and Luke Skywalker as [insert young up and coming here] with Darth yelling "WoooooooOOOooo! Whose your Daddy!" and the [new guy] saying, "Let's be friends!" Then I imagine the whole scene playing out in a wrestling ring with Senator Palpatine (auspiciously played by Vince McMahon) in the corner behind Darth Flair waiting for the moment the ref turns his back so he can hit [new guy] over the head with a chair. Then, imagine if you will, in [new guy]'s corner, Hans Solo played by The Rock taunting Senator McMahon from afar with cries of "CAN YOU SMELLLLL WHAT CHEWWWWBACCA IS COOOOOOKING?" while Carrie Fisher is circling the ring in a bikini. Doesnt that make so much more sense now?
Yes, I thought so. You can thank me for that.
There are different levels of nerd but all of them view Star Wars as some kind of holy grail to geekdom. This always puzzled me, because I thought the Star Wars movies (all of them) were really not that interesting. That opinion, when I chanced to voice it, was always met with stern glares, "you dont know what you're talking about you silly little girl," comments and quite often a serious lecture on how wonderful and amazing Star Wars really is.
I found this reaction quite amusing. It was like having a secret 'Dance Monkey, Dance!' button that I could press at will. If you ever want to bring any kind of nerd convention to a screeching halt, all you have to do is go to the hub and start bellowing about what a terrible movie Star Wars is. I recommend wearing a helmet and protective gear if you decide to attempt this.
Chris himself is an avid fan of Star Wars, and with our polar views on the subject, we frequently get into arguments. Let me repeat that, in case you missed the point. Two grown adults, that have far larger concerns and a small child to raise, will argue about the Star Wars series. None of his reasons can ever explain the 6ft cardboard statue of Bobafet himself gracing the side of our bed. I wish, oh God, I wish I were kidding about that. And we wont even mention the Star Wars pillowcase. No, no we wont.
A long time ago, so long that I dont care to think about it because it involves math with numbers in the double digits, Chris, his family, and I would gather in the living room to watch wrestling. Now, I realize I'm losing credibility here but hear me out. Wrestling is entertaining to watch, so long as one doesnt take it seriously.
One of the funniest moments of my life came about while watching wrestling. One night, while watching a pay per view event, there was a huge throw down between all the ladies of the wrestling world. In the ensuing cat fight the lady's tops came off. Chris's brother, who wasnt quite 18, was absolutely mortified to be viewing boobies in front of his mother. If that wasn't embarassing enough, Mae Young, who was 77 at the time, surfaced from the fray long enough to reveal her breasts. His brother's face turned an interesting shade of purple and he ran out of the living room, leaving the rest of us howling with laughter. The moment was glorious, and you can't put a price tag on that.
I've always said wrestling is like a male soap opera, complete with trash talking, violence, hot women, and too-old guys running around in tights trying to be taken seriously. Male entertainment at it's finest, really. Star Wars also belongs in that same category. As far as I'm concerned the only redeeming characters in the whole miserable series were the Ewoks. When I was 4 years old, I thought they were the cutest things ever and I wanted to take one home and put it on the shelf right next to my puckmarin, Falcor, and Captain Picard. Now that I'm an adult, I still think Ewoks are the best things ever but only because I recognize the malevolence in their beady little eyes from a lifetime of mockery and short jokes. Let's just say I can relate and leave it at that.
Other than the Ewoks, the only entertainment I can find when having to sit through yet. one. more. showing of the stupid series is picturing Darth Vadar as Rick Flair and Luke Skywalker as [insert young up and coming here] with Darth yelling "WoooooooOOOooo! Whose your Daddy!" and the [new guy] saying, "Let's be friends!" Then I imagine the whole scene playing out in a wrestling ring with Senator Palpatine (auspiciously played by Vince McMahon) in the corner behind Darth Flair waiting for the moment the ref turns his back so he can hit [new guy] over the head with a chair. Then, imagine if you will, in [new guy]'s corner, Hans Solo played by The Rock taunting Senator McMahon from afar with cries of "CAN YOU SMELLLLL WHAT CHEWWWWBACCA IS COOOOOOKING?" while Carrie Fisher is circling the ring in a bikini. Doesnt that make so much more sense now?
Yes, I thought so. You can thank me for that.
***Thanks to Handbag of Rainbows for introducing me to the above video!
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