The Snarkspire Strikes Back

I am going to preface this with the following disclaimer: I love Christine. Very Much.

That being said, this is America and you are free to take the rambling incoherence of her synopsis of Star Wars as insightful. However, you should know that said criticism is coming from someone whose literature collection reads like the TV Guide listing for Cinemax at 2 am and routinely watches MTV's 16 and Pregnant. The same woman who...when I was going to watch the Cohen Brothers version of True Grit was begging to watch Gnomeo and Juliet. For those that are unfamiliar with Gnomeo and Juliet, it is a computer animated retelling of Romeo and Juliet, featuring gnomes, Elton John music, and a HAPPY ENDING! 

I chalk her complete misunderstanding of Star Wars up to attention deficit disorder. The Star Wars Trilogy is a landmark in movie history. It inspired generations of not only Science Fiction movies, but every day cinema. It launched the career of Harrison Ford. (It should also be noted that I do not care at all for the Prequels as they are quite obviously an attempt by a clearly insane George Lucas to capitalize on his once great empire.) I don't see how someone could NOT like these films. It is a classic battle between good and evil of true Shakespearean proportions. There is magic, epic battles, romance, and...yes. cute furry things. Sure, the original three films are essentially a retelling of the Seven Samurai mixed with Arthurian legend. It's the tale of a young man who loses everything and ends up becoming the hero of an entire galaxy. The tale of a selfish scoundrel who finds his place and his humanity. It is about a princess who realizes that it takes more than a cold and calculating mind to bring about true change. It is about family overcoming true darkness. It is about Wookies.

The only reason there is even an argument about any of it is that she doesn't want our daughter to watch these films. Ever. I can let someone not understanding or liking a movie slide. To deny our daughter the chance to experience Star Wars and decide on her own whether it is something she enjoys stinks of fascism. Though I'm sure Christine would be completely alright with our little one sitting and watching Dirty Dancing. Lord knows that a story about a shy girl in the Poconos being dance-raped by Patrick Swayze is much better for her.

She can want our daughter to not see these movies all she wants. There will be a point where she's out at the store and the wee one and I can hide in the attic like Anne Frank and watch Star Wars until we hear mommy's jackboots clunking up the patio. Maybe the wee one will even make a diary about it...