The Strange Life of Ted "Theodore" Logan.

I was talking to my buddy Frank at work about the up coming Bill and Ted 3 which is in development. My end of the conversation naturally progressed in the direction of The "Ted" theory on Keanu Reeves's movies: All characters portrayed by Keanu Reeves is a different stage of Ted "Theodore" Logan. Frank naturally showed skepticism, and I did not have time to go into details, so here it is: The Strange Life of Ted "Theodore" Logan.

Shortly after the end of their Excellent Adventure, Wyld Stallyns were in a financial slump, and dear Bill and Ted parted ways. At a particularly low point in Ted's life, he knocked up Martha Plimpton.
You may remember Martha from her adventures with the Goonies. Her sleeping with the potential rock star Ted was a way at lashing out at her parents. Suddenly finding himself hit with the responsibility of being a parent, Ted follows in his father's footsteps and decides to go into law enforcement. Martha Plimpton is against this, and the couple parts ways. The bright side of this point is that Ted finds he has a surprising acumen for law enforcement, testing extremely high on all tests. This catches the attention of the FBI, who recruit young Ted directly from the academy and puts him to work immediately, using his youthful appearance and grasp of surfing vernacular to assist in catching a gang of bank robbers. 

The emotional toll of an undercover operation proved too much for young Ted, but he felt that he could use this as fuel for his songwriting. Ted resigned from the FBI. Debts quickly caught up with our young hero. Falling behind on child support and the future looking bleak, Ted was brought in by his good friend Bill. They shared an apartment together and quickly picked up where they had left off, reforming Wyld Stalyns. They were a huge financial and musical success.
 
It wasn't long before the music world became too much for Ted. In his heart, he knew that he could do more for the world if he went back into law enforcement. Plus, with the advent of music piracy, the income from the band just wasn't enough to ensure that he could pay his child support and support his new family. Ted left the band, however he could not return to the FBI, so Ted signed on with the LAPD. The move did not sit well with the princess he married, however, as this decision came shortly after the beating of Rodney King. She left him. The loss of a second chance at a family drove Ted to excel at his job, thriving on the anger and resentment deep within. His excellence as an unshakable officer of the law drew the attention of a mad man. This individual planted a bomb on a city bus that would explode if it dropped under 50 mph. Driven to prove himself, Ted almost single handedly saved the citizens on the bus, winning the heart of Annie (the civilian who took over driving duties after the bus driver sustained a gunshot wound.) But relationships that start under intense circumstances, they never last. Annie left Ted shortly after the romance had begun.

 It wasn't long after that he met a young Charlize Theron. She inspired him to look beyond practicing law with a gun, and instead practice it in the courtroom. Ted studied hard and eventually graduated as a lawyer. To make a long story short - The encounter that Bill and Ted had with The Devil years ago on their second adventure came back and bit him in the ass. Hard. In the form of Al Pacino.

Devestated, Ted  resigned from law practice. He looked on the legal system now as the one thing that had driven everything he loved away. He went to a technical institute and earned his computer degree. He found that he had a second calling. Soon, however, this would prove to be more challenging than he thought. Through a series of odd situations, a threat from a seemingly super-powered agent, and an invitation from Lawrence Fishburne (it should be noted that Ted is easily swayed by dudes in trench coats with cool sunglasses), Ted adoped the name Neo. He borrowed heavily from the dress sense of his former mentor Rufus, and essentially saved the human race from being batteries.
 

Since even simple computer work proved to be too much, Ted decided to go into a specialized private practice. As he has had experience with fire arms, investigation, mystical powers, and has dealt with the Devil himself (twice), the natural progression was to investigate and terminate all demonic activity on the planet. 

Having succeeded at this, and there being no more demons left to destroy that weren't personal, Ted once again turned his hardened eyes at law enforcement. Unfortunately, this once again resulted in a huge downward spiral that lead to the death of his new-found friend, the discovered corruption of his entire unit, and he was only saved from the mouth of Perdition it's self by TV's irascible Dr. House disguised as an Internal Affairs investigator.

And now we are up to speed (get it?) on what's been going on with Ted. We'll have to wait until the next installment of Bill and Ted to find out what happens next.

Thank you.