Since today is Independence Day I, like many other Americans, chose to celebrate by spending the green stuff at Walmart. Also, I really feel like Independence should be spelled Independance. It's more visually appealing. Back to Walmart. As with any other time, it was packed. Chris hates it, baby girl was tolerant and I was a madwoman, trying to fill the cart with as much stuff as I could before Chris lost it and started body checking hapless shoppers hanging out in the middle of aisles. Business as usual. I kept seeing American flags on all of the merchandise, with sparklers around every corner and giant sections filled to brim with grilling stuffs.
I found this so American. Let's celebrate our nation's independence and birth by lighting things on fire and shaking our flag-covered chests. That's us to a tee.
I remember years ago when I was in middle school watching a news program with my mom. The program was reporting about the stuff going on in Bosnia. I was old enough to kind of get it, but hadnt really developed any real convictions or solid ideas on something so serious. I specifically remember my mom saying that these kids were unable to go outside and play, for fear of a military strike. It got a little more detailed than that, being attacked by missiles from the air, or bombed from afar and I just thought how sad it was that these kids couldnt go out in the street and swap Barbies.
I got a little older but that whole conversation stuck with me. Opinions of my own began to gel in my little pea brain. Then, an interesting thing happened. I went to Switzerland one month after the 9-11 attacks. I was pretty well traveled for someone my age (as in: not in the military, retired with an RV or on the run from the law) and had been to Europe once before in '97. The attitude of the Swiss sort of baffled me. They really had no idea why we were retaliating and thought that we should just ignore the attacks. Now, I'm not arguing one side or the other. Frankly, I havent educated myself well enough to offer anything remotely intelligent by way of argument here. I am just commenting on their attitude toward us and our actions. During this time, the whole 'swapping barbies' indignation kind of went out the window. I realized that yes, there are some things worth fighting for. At least in my world, there are.
Speaking of fighting, I met a man a few years ago that made one hell of an impression on me. I was and am very proud to have known him and gotten to call him friend. Smart, compassionate, capable, rock solid, this guy was like the poster child of everything you hope you turn out to be. He served in the military and saw action in Iraq. At 21, he was in charge of his own small squadron over there. Let's just say that at 21, I had no business being in charge of a can opener, let alone like, people. So, he and his crew were traveling from one base to another on a well used road (in fact they had just driven down in that morning and were making the return trip) when they went over an IED. The humvee was destroyed. My friend had a severe concussion and lost one of his crew members who was also a very close friend. When he opened up to me about this, my mouth was left hanging open, because I could say nothing to him. Nothing. This man was a hell of a lot ballsier than me, leaving his family behind and willingly going to a place of never-ending sand and deception so that my lazy fat ass could huff McD's uninterrupted. Standing next to him, I had to assess my worth. Unsurprisingly I came up a little short. Luckily, I'm shallow so it didnt bother me for too terribly long.
I've spent my 4th of July holidays in many ways, some of them traditional. The top moments were driving an ambulance for a community parade, being anchored on the Potomac river in front of the Washington Monument to watch the national fireworks (that was amazing), and going out into the boonies to shoot guns including an AK-47 (now that they are legal). I honestly dont remember thinking of anyone but myself on those occasions. I was just out having a good time.
Today, for some reason, is different. I find myself thinking of things like barbies, collateral damages, and potato salad. I'm also thinking of all the little freedoms I am so blessed to live under. Every morning when it's time for me to get up, Chris and the baby will crawl into bed with me and we'll cuddle and play for a little while. Every day I decide to go out, I have no real fear for my safety. My fiance doesnt treat me as property, or a second class citizen. I can raise my daughter with the values, ethics and religious conviction of my choosing (Church of Bob Dobbs anyone?) All of the choices I can make on a day to day basis, I am so thankful for. And today I'm thinking about the lack of sacrifice on my part. I never served in the military (and am not required too, unlike the Swiss), nor have I lost someone. I just sat on my ass and bitched about paying taxes. Tonight, while I'm trying to sleep with all of the yay-hoos setting of fireworks all night long, I'll probably cuss and throw things. Ahhh introspection. How I loathe thee. Let's have some LOLcats to break the mood, shall we?
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